Thursday, December 03, 2009

Couture by Juicy Couture

Smelling Couture by Juicy Couture teaches you two things about Elizabeth Arden, the holder of the Juicy Couture perfume license: a) they don't respect young people, and b) they have no shame.

Maybe it's unfair to expect much from a perfume that was obviously composed on a shoestring budget. However, this cloying blend of sticky grape juice and bathroom refresher-type jasmine is sold for $85 (3.4 oz, or $65 for the 1.7 oz bottle) at Nordstrom, so I'm definitely going to say what I think.

Couture (seriously. It's not even pret-a-porter) opens sweet and never dies. The plastic fruity mess with a weird bubblegum forgotten in a drawer accord offers all the bad stereotypes about teenagers. I'd like to think many of them are smarter than to wear this juice, that smells like so many other fruity vanilla perfumes targeting the same market. Some of them are actually better done. The floral heart is godawful disgusting. A not-really-jasmine and not-really-lilac (the official notes mention honeysuckle, but I could have sworn it's a lilac imitation) could have been made by Glade or Febreze. Actually, both companies have a couple of better composed household products.

The drydown is a bit more tolerable for me, but I tend to fare well with most vanilla scents. It's not a good vanilla and it has nothing of interest to offer and temper the stickiness, but at least it doesn't hate my skin like the reconstructed grape. The plastic note remains forever and ever on any clothes unfortunate enough to touch it. Good thing I didn't wear any dry clean only clothes while testing this dreck.

Couture by Juicy Couture is available from most department stores, Sephora and Juicy Couture boutiques. The sample I had was GWP from Nordstrom.


  1. Just as I was wondering if bloggers ever wrote a bad review. LOL! Thanks for your honesty. It was refreshing and entertaining.

  2. Thank you! Basically everything Juicy Couture makes is a hot mess. Their style looks like someone vomited Barbie mixed with Twilight all over high schools across the country.

    Anyone who makes terry cloth jumpsuits should not be allowed to even make perfume.

    Thanks again for speaking up against this heinous monstrosity!

  3. sorry- typed the verification in the body of the comment. Oops!

  4. well, I have a teen for whom I buy perfume, so I think I can comment. She has asked for Acqua di Parma, and I have given her Bandit and Norell. Not to mention her depredations on her mother's collection.

    I think this one would get a rolleyes and huff...unica

  5. love it!! more bloggers should post scathing reviews of products. much more entertaining and just as useful! i'm in kind of a bitchy mood so this was very satisfying to read!

  6. Juice: Gah.

    But my late grandmother, Queen of Tacky, would have adored that bottle. Every time I see it, I think of her and smile.

  7. I can imagine my 19 y/o smelling it and making the appropriate gag noises. Loved this review. Read it out loud to my husband. His response, "I get the feeling that she really does not like that perfume." You think???

  8. Thank god someone else is saying what they think. In a world where notes are being destroyed and torn apart then reconstructed into hideously tacky abominations and mass marketed as mainstream monstrosities, just reading someone giving an honest opinion about this overpriced dreck amazing.

    And having tested this particular product, and having skin that usually fairs quite well with these fruity-teen scents, I can say quite plainly that this stuff is not only horrible, it's boring. I really wish someone would remind Juicy that if they're going to charge as much if not more than Chanel, they should at least make a good-faith effort to create something that doesn't smell like juicy-juice and febreeze.

    Yeah, little ranty, but I think you get my point. :D



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