My reading comprehension skills are failing me. I can't for the life of me figure out this email, other than that someone wants me to write about something. The thought process that resulted in this piece of PR drivel is way beyond me, though. Maybe my friends and readers can figure it out. Once again, my own comments are in red.
Hi Gaia, (at least she got my name right)
It’s Father’s Day again and you might be thinking how you should reward yourself for the years of dedication and hard work that you have put into your family.(Because obviously I'm not only a man but also a father)
Take a quick look in the mirror and you might realize that the greasy hamburgers, genetics, and extra beers have left your body in need of a little TLC. (Why, thank you. My vegetarian no-drinking self might forgive this. My mother? not so much)
So what to do? It’s not that you haven’t been to the gym, but nothing can hide the fact that you still suffer from cellulite and a little extra flab that didn’t used to reside on your thighs and stomach.(I'm about ready to cry)
It’s Father’s Day and you deserve to treat yourself to what you really want; a body that more closely resembles the one you had 10 years ago. This is where [our wonderful product] comes into play, offering a perfect solution to a less than perfect dilemma. (Still haven't figured out how my deteriorating girly figure fits in with Father's Day. Maybe I'll ask my dad)
[blah blah blah about how diet, exercise and cosmetics products don't work]
We have partnered with several top physicians in the area and would love to coordinate an interview. Please let me know if you would like any additional information at firstname.lastname@example.org or 1-800-fail