Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Dear You- Message In (and about) A Bottle


Dear Jennifer Aniston,
If you don't like wearing perfume, maybe having your own isn't the best idea ever.
Sincerely,
Someone who appreciates your mother's Caleche

Dear IFRA,
Verbena? Really?
Yours,
Oakmossed In Jersey

Dear Tom Ford,
How about an iris next?
Love,
A reluctant fan

Dear SA,
Thierry Mugler's first name is not pronounced "Terry".
Sincerely,
Someone who still doesn't like Angel

Dear Uncle Serge,
Are you really going to make me jump through hoops for bell jars of Rahat Loukoum and Bois et Musc?
Adoringly,
A Desperate American

Dear Proctor & Gamble,
You suck.
Crankily,
A Jean Patou fan

Dear Mademoiselle Chanel,
You'd roll in your grave if you smelled some of the dreck they sell under your name.
Tearfully,
Can't Believe It's No. 19

Dear Ormonde Jayne,
Please subtract the VAT from sales outside the UK.
Respectfully,
An American Penny Pincher Who Needs A Bottle Of Orris Noir


Feel free to add your own unsent letters in the comments.

Photo: myvintagevogue.com

10 comments:

  1. You should make it a weekly post :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, what a great idea!

    Dear LVMH,
    Why do you hate perfumes you so much?

    Perplexedly,
    A Givenchy, Guerlain, Kenzo, CD, Fendi, etc ex-fan

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Sephora-Spain
    Why you've stopped carrying "not-so-commercial" fragances? I know the scents with tv-commercials sell better, but I'd love to buy Scherrer once more, or sniff Dioressence for the sake of sniffing.
    Respectfully
    An Scherrer fan in Barcelona

    ReplyDelete
  4. The post rocks! Nothing made me laugh quite as hard today!

    It captures everything, that the monetary supporters of these unfortunate products should hear...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah, I'm pretty much done with No. 19 since the latest iteration. And Chanel in general, for that matter. Do they think people don't know how to smell/access the Internet?

    Dear Fendi/owners thereof: why would anybody pull a global classic like your original scent off shelves. I've never met anybody who didn't love the 80's vintage. Do you actually WANT to sell perfume? Asja is also a lost treasure.

    Dear Mr. Scherrer: please bring Scherrer back. With all the citrus & moss intact. In EDP & parfum. The treemoss version, even, was not so bad. Just sell it in the U.S. I promise to buy at least 2 bottles per year.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear Uncle Serge:
    What she said.
    A guy who wants some Iris Silver Mist

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahaha, I agree with sentiments expressed in these letters.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Lady Gaga,
    I liked you better the first time around, when you were called Madonna.

    Cheers,
    The 80's

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear Parfums de Rosine,
    Are you staying? Are you leaving? Are you ever making your recent releases (i.e., past two or three years) more widely available in the US?
    Please stop playing so hard to get.
    xoxo,
    A rose-lover who is tired of asking after you at Barneys and Aedes

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear C. Dior, whoever you are. I beg you on my knees to bring to us - lovers of old things - the authentic Miss Dior. It would sell billions of bottles and i would sincerely wear only that scent for the rest of my life. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.!!!!!........

    ReplyDelete

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